Health-related news, the Divergent series and a bit of mail

I wasn't sure if I should publish the following news on my blog or not, because on the one hand, it is kind of bad news and I also don't want to come across as being dramatic, nor do I want a lot of people to be worried. But on the other hand, some of my pen pals have already heard in letters written after my last hospital stay or messages exchanges lately that I was still waiting for laboratory results, and I do want people to be updated on what is going on. I'm just not sure if I'll feel like writing the same information over and over. So, I decided to just use my blog to give a general update on it.
A few days ago I finally got my laboratory results and unfortunately, they weren't as positive and harmless as I had hoped. Despite my doctors' prediction that the recently removed germ cell tumor would turn out to be benign with even a 99% probability, there were malignant cells in it. And since it was a tumor in one of my ovaries, I will have to get that ovary removed (luckily I can keep the other one, though! So that doesn't affect my ability to have kids in the future). So in the week after Easter, I will go to the hospital again for another surgery. It felt a bit weird to make plans for another surgery when the stitches from the last one were not even completely gone yet, but I want to get it over with as soon as possible. Fortunately, we caught the whole thing very early and my doctors are sure that the malignant cells so far only are in the one ovary, and it hasn't spread anywhere else. They will look thoroughly at my abdomen during surgery and collect samples for more laboratory tests, but I've been told not to worry about that, because I should make a full recovery and live a cancer-free life without further trouble with it when the ovary is gone. At least my doctors sounded very optimistic and sure of that. I'm not looking forward to the hospital at all, especially because this time it will be done with a laparotomy instead of a small laparoscopy and I'll have to stay there a bit longer than last time. I also don't like the thought of losing an organ very much. And it was kind of a blow to get the results, and it still is scary, but I'm trying to adopt my doctors' optimism and to think positive, so I just keep telling myself that it will all be behind me soon!

And now on to the parts of this blog entry that were already written and waiting to be published before I decided to add these news :)

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Ever since I joined Goodreads, I discovered that I enjoy writing reviews about the books I read. So I might as well use my blog for it, right? At least this will give it a purpose, besides showing pictures of my mail.
So here we go with a novel I have read lately: 'Insurgent' by Veronica Roth.

Insurgent - mostly read in my bed

The book was mostly read in my bed, while drinking teas I've been obsessed with lately. I can't decide if I like the Rooibos or the other one more, but both are fruity and tasty and give me kind of a summer feeling. The 'Landlust' tea was a bit of an embarrassing purchase, though, and I still can't believe that the supermarket tricks work on me so well! ;) Buying tea wasn't on my list at all, but I had to wait in line before I could pay for my other groceries too long and there was this mountain of tea conveniently positioned next to the checkout counter line. So after staring at it for a while .. I suddenly needed to have it ...

But now let's start with the book talk! :) Last December, I already read 'Divergent' in a matter of days and enjoyed it a lot. The concept was both odd and weirdly fascinating at the same time. A society divided into five factions based on human virtues, in which every person is reduced to only one personality trait: it is so obvious that this must go wrong, and how it is possible that not all people are divergent but the majority only fits into one faction was a mystery to me. But at the same time, I could see the appeal of such a concept: knowing exactly who you are and where you fit in. That must be kind of nice. Of course the book also prompted me to think about which of those factions I might fit into (my guess would have been Amity, or at least it sounded like the most appealing faction to live in), and gave me the opportunity to do fun online tests. According to those, I would be divergent as well and share traits of Amity and Abnegation. Damn, what a nice person I apparently am! ;) (I personally really like online tests and think they are fun to do, even when they can hardly be taken seriously, so if anyone feels the need to test for a faction: http://divergentthemovie.com/aptitudetest

But although I really enjoyed the book, 'Divergent' didn't have a long-tasting impact on me. Otherwise I can't explain why I ran through bookstores on the 24th of December searching for the sequel because I was convinced that I wouldn't survive the Christmas holidays without it, bought it right after the holidays .. and then waited until the middle of March to finally read it. Sure, there was a serious amount of exam anxiety and other life events that kept me from reading it, but I also just lost a bit of the excitement.

But let's finally talk about 'Insurgent': This novel starts directly where the first one ended and for a moment I had to strain my memory to recall what had been going on. After that I got into the novel pretty fast, although some of the characters that appear again in this book I couldn't remember at all. So either they didn't make an impression on me before, or my memory is that bad. But just like the first novel, this one also turned out to be a page-turner! In my opinion Veronica Roth is a good writer and knows not only how to create a feeling of suspense, but also how to use words, so once in a while there is a sentence that even has a poetic ring to me - something I don't necessarily expect in a Young Adults dystopian novel.
What I liked about the plot was that I got to know the factions a bit better. After only having really gotten to know Dauntless and Abnegation and only a glimpse of the other factions in the previous book, now I also have a much clearer idea of Candor, Erudite and Amity. Major disappointment with Amity, though!

My favourite thing about the plot is the main character, Tris, suffering real consequences from the trauma she just went through at the end of 'Divergent'. It was interesting to read about her emotions on this matter as it was not only very believable to be that way, but also gave her a new perspective on other previous events and made her more understanding towards other peoples' past actions. I often found her to be too short-minded before, so this was a nice change, and it made her much more likable for me. And in a way, her suffering from the traumatic events and this huge amount of grief and personal guilt she has to deal with made this book way deeper and more emotional than the previous one. Just one of my favourite paragraphs:

"He must have stood there for a long time, making a list of all the terrible things he had done (...), and another list of the good, heroic, brave things he had not done, and then decided he was tired. Tired, not just of living, but of existing. Tired of being A. (...) For the first time I feel like I understand. I am tired of being Tris. I have done bad things. I can't take them back, and they are a part of who I am. Most of the time, they seem like the only thing I am."

Another aspect that got more interesting in this novel in comparison to the first one is the love story. I enjoyed reading about Tris and Tobias before, but it wasn't the most interesting aspect of 'Divergent' and the book even could have done without it - because while it was cute, it was more like a "aaw, puppy love"-cuteness and didn't seem to contribute so much to the story for me. But now, with Tris' emotional state having consequences also for her relationship, the romance aspect of the story got more interesting, too.
And of course there also was plenty of action in this novel! Those parts were usually fast-paced and suspenseful, and I had to keep reading to find out what would happen next. But to me, 'Insurgent' is much more than a Young Adult dystopian action novel: it is a novel about grief and guilt, about belonging and identity, choices and sacrifices, painful betrayals and unexpected allies...

If I had to name a flaw in this novel, it would be the side characters because once again, they didn't make a lasting impression on me and I didn't care too much about them, even though they had their entertaining moments. This probably is because it is a first-person-narrative and so much focused on Tris and her emotions, but I still would have liked the other characters to have more distinct voices and be less exchangeable. Another flaw is a slight predictability. Some things in the beginning sounded like they were supposed to be some kind of revelation, but I saw them coming too easily. And in a few of the action scenes it also was a bit predictable how they would turn out. But it didn't happen too often and therefore didn't ruin the overall feeling of suspense for me, and I still enjoyed this novel a lot. And of course there was an ending that surprised me and confused me a bit, so now I really want to know what exactly is going on and how it will all unfold in the sequel. So, I definitely want to read 'Allegiant' and am already looking forward to it! But before this can happen, I have to give my huge pile of other unread books some attention. That is, unless I decide that I am allowed to buy new books for the hospital.

That's all with the book talk for now, but last but not least, I also want to share the mail that I've sent and received lately! There hasn't been a lot of it, but I received one letter and sent out a few things. :)

Outgoing:

A card and some tea for Tessa in the Netherlands

A letter to Brigitta in Hungary

Postcards for Bianca in the USA and Bahanur in Turkey

Incoming:

From Angel in Taiwan

Solitary walks and being a tourist in my own town

My love for solitary walks is something I discovered a few years ago when I was unhappy with my living situation and wanted to avoid the negative atmosphere in my shared apartment as much as possible. So when I couldn't spend time in a friend's place or spend hours in my favourite coffee shop, I used to wander around .. and it turned out that I actually enjoyed it. Nowadays my living situation is much better and I actually love my apartment, so my solitary walks aren't necessary as a means of escape and avoidance anymore, but I still like them. They have a soothing effect when I feel nervous or anxious, they help me think when I need to figure something out, and I generally feel better when I go for walks more frequently. I guess they are also good for my poor fitness level. ;)
In winter I hardly go for walks, though, due to my aversion to cold weather. So it is an activity that is a bit limited to nice spring/summer/autumn days. But with the nice spring weather we are now having, there hopefully are many walks to look forward to! Quite often I combine my need for walking with needing to get into town, and there are several routes to get there. Some are faster and more practical, others are more scenic, others more secluded and through the woods .. this way, it also doesn't get boring.
 And since I was on one of those walks today, I thought that I might as well share some pictures on my blog! :)

Today I went for the route via the fortress, a route that I enjoy because of the nice view and it being neither too short nor too long. I only wish that I would meet less dogs on this route - I'm not sure if many people know, but I have kind of an ambivalent relationship to dogs. Often I meet dogs that I find cute and immediately want to cuddle, and one day I want to have my own dog to keep me company. But sometimes I meet dogs that don't give off a friendly vibe at all, and then I can get scared, especially when the owner is hundreds of meters away. Or, in an even more unappealing scenario, the owner reacts to the situation with hysteric yelling and running, because apparently he is aware to that his furry friend would be the perfect cast for 'The Hound of the Baskervilles'.
But it is a nice route. Usually I simply walk past the fortress or pass through it without taking the time to really look at it, because either I don't have enough time and have to get somewhere, or because the place is too crowded for my taste. Especially in summer and early autumn, it can be swamped with tourists! However, now in early spring it isn't crowded yet and there were only a few people around. And since I had some time on my hands, I used the opportunity to look around. It was fun because I was doing it kind of at the same pace as a Japanese couple did, and they were so much in awe with everything .. to me the view from the fortress isn't so special anymore, but they were really impressed by it. So I tried to see it through a tourist's eyes again, too - and with taking pictures of everything, I must have looked like a tourist anyway.

But enough with the rambling, and here finally are the promised pictured of today's walk:

View towards the Fortress

View towards Höchberg

And suddenly I have a ... personal blog?

So... blogging. I have to admit that creating this blog really only was a spur of the moment thing. I was sitting on my sofa, still recovering and not being able to do too many active things, being a bit bored and procrastinating all the ugly household things on my to-do-list, when I ran out of options for procrastination and suddenly .. I had a blog.

Well, now that I created it and started to understand how Blogspot works (it took me a ridiculously long time to figure it out - computer stuff can make me feel so much like an 80-year-old!), I guess I should also use it. Only, I don't have a clear idea of what to use it for yet. Maybe showing off my incoming and outgoing mail, as I love to look at that on other blogs. Or share my book revviews? My occasional photography? We'll see... But I at least felt like sharing that the blog exists. ;)

There wasn't a lot of incoming and outgoing mail this week. I'm very good at keeping my pile small at the moment, and I hope to keep it this way! :) But I'll share what I received and send while I try to figure out how to link pictures to a blog entry.

A very nice and long letter from Brigitta in Hungary. And I love bats, so the stamp is great!

A letter and postcards that went out to Elena in Spain yesterday. I had expected my writing mood to be gone after my hospital visit, but it was very active this week and made me finish this letter much faster than I expected. I guess I rambled a lot, so I hope it is enjoyable ;)

And to test all the functions this site offers - here comes a song.. ;) First I didn't like it much, but the radio kept pushing it on me several times a day, and somehow I grew to like it, especially the lyrics. Now it is an earworm stuck in my head and I catch myself humming it way too often

So, welcome to my new spur-of-the-moment-blogging-adventure! ;)